An All-American Thanksgiving Prayer

To whom it may concern; spiritually speaking…

As we gather here today before this glutinous feast, let us thank those many whom have too little, so that we may have too much. Let us give recognition to but also make haste to neglect their misery, hunger, and lack of shelter, especially on this day of thanks… giving. Let us with great temperance stop now to praise the lesser tramp, vagrant, and vagabond, allowing this our bountiful ceremony of worship to our own greed and sloth to go forward. Let us take pride in these temporal things that make us apathetic to the humility of those who starve tonight and every night, so that we may overflow our own cornucopia beyond need, want, or reason. Please let not our wasted plenty – wrapped carelessly in black plastic bags – be perceived as apathetic to their needs or prideful of own superior desires. May our lust today be only as great as our own stomachs can bear, saving room for pie, and may Tums and Pepto-Bismol come forth in abundance. May the suffering of the many continue to render a glorious extravagance to the fortunate pedigreed few. May the trickle-down effect contribute to an over-sufficient stuffing of their millions of common subjects so that this inequitable system of governance may continue to make pestilent and destitute those who must suffer for the common good. And may tomorrow be the blackest of black Friday’s since the advent and realization of the seven deadly sins we so guardedly covet in greed and envy today.

In the privilege and status of our artificial corporate names and in Citibank we pray…



Sloth (Apathy)
(Latin, acedia) (from Greek ακηδία)
The neglect to take care of something that one should do.

So where is your heart on this day of giving and thanks?


Lust (Luxury) vs. Chastity
Gluttony vs. Temperance
Greed vs. Charity
Sloth vs. Diligence
Wrath vs. Patience
Envy vs. Kindness
Pride vs. Humility


–Clint Richardson (
–Thanksgiving, Thursday, November 28th, 2013

Leave a comment


  1. Let us be hungry for knowledge. Thank you, Clint.


  2. chipster

     /  November 30, 2013

    I is definitely in the crosshairs of fact and fantasy today. Boycott Thyself.


  3. THX1138

     /  December 2, 2013




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