Why I Quit Hollywood

I realize now that I was guilty of exactly what I blame people for today.

Cognitive Dissonance…

It was a constant mental battle with my ego; an effort to compensate for those scraps of carnal knowledge, like many uncomfortable splinters incrementally digging deeper into my skin, that told me what I was working on and therefore condoning as “just a job” was morally and ethically wrong. 

 You see, I was a professional Hollywood sound designer – the guy who made war scenes and civil war reenactments sound so incredibly real. I was the guy who used “foley” recordings of squeezed fruit and veggies to produce realistic blood and guts for total aural stimulation in the entertainment experience. I was the guy who made monsters and dragons come to life, designing the roars and squeals that hopefully made the audience recoil with excitement; accepting for just that brief interactive experience the death and dismemberment, murder and rape, torture and sadism that goes into the making of many of Hollywood’s movies and games; Jewish torture porn as I now know it to be called. I knew, for instance, that some of the best screams and squeals of shear terror, pain, and agony emanating out from my massive sound library at Soundelux studios was that of the castration of pigs in slaughter yards. And yet the sincerity of these sounds are what made such evil creatures, created through some sick, twisted, and perverted artist somewhere, come to life and make my audiences skin crawl.

And I quite enjoyed my work. For I was an artist myself, unaware of my own dissonance and denial that what I was doing may very well be harming others and myself. 

I had listened to the arguments. I had even considered them briefly; like a starving man considers a day old uneaten hamburger, weighing the dangers and consequences of the very sustenance that would end the pangs of his hunger. But with me it was my ego that was hungry. I strived to be the best at what I did, and received acknowledgements and awards for my work and work ethic. I considered the horror that I was promoting and creating, and my ego only wanted more – more notoriety, more respect, more money, and more credits for my now worthless resume’. 

A demon’s hiss? No problem.

The Devil’s vocals? Ok. I can do it.

Zombies, gremlins, dragons, goblins, and just pure evil? Great. Bring it on!!!

One day, as I had increasingly been listening to internet radio and talk shows in my windowless and soundproof studio, I heard an interview with a United States soldier. This young man, barely out of high school, was in charge of flying the drones that were dropping bombs in Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, and wherever else the United States government asked him to. For him, this was just a job – dropping bombs on men, women, and children. He referred to the flight controls as being very similar to a video game booth. And for some reason, this boy struck a nerve with me. 

As he explained the details of each mission, sitting comfortably in an underground bunker with joystick in hand and an approximately three-second delay between the drone camera and his digital reconstruction of that feed thousands of miles away in the deserts of New Mexico, he proceeded to explain that the kill ratio was not very accurate. He explained that for every suspected “terrorist” that he would attempt to kill by dropping bombs from a pilotless drone across the world, the collateral damage was expected and accepted to be around 95% in civilian casualties.

In other words, 95 innocent men, women, and children would needlessly die for every actual target that was hit by these drone attacks.

Perhaps this would have been enough to set things into motion for me; to squash my ego and realize what later became so loud and clear… but there was more to this story.

As this boy soldier, a corporal, went on with his daily routine, he commented that his wife and children also lived on the military base with him. And like any 9-5 job in any corporation in America, this boy went home to his family each night as if all was right in the world; as if what he was doing was perfectly normal.

But it was his final clutches into my ego that were the most haunting…

As a young kid, he continued in that interview, this deliverer of unmanned death and destruction was a video game fanatic. Thus, comparing this weapons and flight simulator to an arcade video game booth was just a forgone conclusion in his head. This was literally just like his favorite games. This really was “Modern Warfare”.

For whatever reason, it was this one event in my short-lived career as a Hollywood sound editor that shattered my ego into many pieces. It made all of those Christian fundamentalist’s and concerned parent’s incessant ranting about violence in video games and movies become a reality. It was right in front of my face; for the first time spoken to me by an eye-witness of his own self-subversion and social media conditioning. Perhaps it was the singularly disturbing lack of empathy in his voice as he referred to flesh and blood people, including children, as targets, assets, and collateral. Or perhaps it was his lack of conscious in the contradiction of his own disposition – coming home to his wife and children after a day of killing real wives and children for a living, without the irony or absolute mental illness of that situation being readily apparent through his confident and militarily trained responses.

This was a turning point in my life – one of those defining moments that either makes or breaks a man; instilling an undoubting and permanent morality that can not be shaken or washed away by the tides of time. It was the destruction of a large chunk of my own cognitive dissonance.

Over the next year or so, I went room to room and asked my fellow and more experienced co-workers if the years of design of demonic images and bloody sound effects had yet created a sense of dread in them. The answers were sporadic, mostly depending upon their age. However, overwhelmingly those answers were of the opinion that with the advent of newer and better technologies to create more terrifying and graphically superior and disgusting monsters, the more the constant visualization of these images were effecting the well-being of these designers. Some wished to quit but had families and so couldn’t. Some prayed every night in the hopes that this would somehow make their involvement in this gross promotion of gore and violence more acceptable to God, for which I was equally disturbed. And yet the youngest of these people; those who had grown up in the modern advanced video game generation, seemed to assess my questions as ridiculous – as if I was one of those crazy fundamentalists or parent groups out there trying to take away their fun. This delicious irony only further solidified my distaste for what I was doing as a job. I was literally helping to disassociate whole generations of children and adults from reality – creating dissonance in promotion of ego, destroying empathy, and causing what would otherwise be shunned as perverse and morally wrong to be accepted as perfectly normal and in fact wonderful.

I was the media. I was the bad guy. And yet, until the end, I could not see this job as anything but cool… with my name 2×10 feet in brightly lit movie credits. 

And sadly, when I left, my naturally Jewish boss made no illusions. There were 1,000’s of people out there that wanted my job. And I gave him no delusions that I wanted to come back some day. For I made the conscious decision to quit Hollywood and to move far away. As he was interviewing a young and impressionable kid to take my place, he insincerely wished me luck.

As I finished up with my work on the ultimate zombie-gore-fest entitled “Resident Evil 5”, I vowed to never participate in this type of media again. I quit Hollywood!!!


I have told this story many times on various radio interviews, attempting to instill in people not only the crisis of conscious that I myself went through, but also the fact that there is life outside of the established guidelines of what is considered “normal”. My job was normal. And yet, normal is a sickening participation in debauchery.

This brings to mind one of my favorite quotes:

“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”

–Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe–

I believe that no truer words have ever been spoken, than those of this quote. In one complexly simple sentence, this quote defines exactly the truth of this life and this consciousness. And yet everything out there, including my former profession, is designed to disassociate people from that consciousness; to numb the mind and excite the body, and to absolutely adjust whole generations to a profoundly sick society.

Take it from someone who’s been there…

Finally, as you likely did not get the opportunity to hear what I did, I was recently sent this video that has the same type of situation. Here, a group of soldiers shows you the video game booths and their controls for which they use to fly these unmanned drones and kill families in distant foreign lands.

“The U.S. Air Force is in the midst of radical change, now training more drone pilots than fighter pilots.”

This, you see, with the help of the video game, movie, and other digital entertainment media, is now becoming normal. And before you know it, these soldiers will be flying over your home. And somebody in camouflage fatigues will be making the decision for that drone pilot as to wether or not your family is acceptable collateral damage or not while texting his wife to cook a steak that night. Expect to see predictive programming reality television shows about these domestic drones and how normal they are, and more “toys” that can be flown through your so-called “smart-phones” – you know, the surveillance device carried around by most not-so-smart people who have been conditioned to believe that these smart-grid technologies placed into their phones and pads are for fun, entertainment, and for making a simple phone call.

At around 6:30 in this video, we see these military drone pilots acting normally:

“So, I have the opportunity to go to work, fly a mission, ah- no matter where it is, do the job, and then I put on a different hat and I come home to my wife and kids.”

–Unknown soldier in video, coming to a town near you,
“no matter where it is”.


–Clint Richardson (Realitybloger.wordpress.com)
–Saturday, January 5th, 2013

Leave a comment


  1. sigh…


  2. Yes, Clint, that’s what our government does. It dehumanizes people, kills people, and spends trillions of dollars devising new weapons and better torture techniques. And the ratio is more than 95% percent civilians to each terrorist target, because most of those we deem “enemies,” are simply people who do not want to allow us to steal their resources.

    So do you still think that voting and running for office can change anything? Will anyone in government voluntarily give up the profits from their extensive defense stock portfolios? The defense corporations are “too big to fail,” so we dropped 16,000 tons of bombs on Afghanistan during the Bush administration (we’re dropping many more bombs now with Obama’s expansion of the war)–a country that our best intelligence estimates said had no more than 2,000 suspected terrorists. That’s 8,000 TONS of bombs per terrorist. Want to calculate how much money that cost us? Don’t forget to add to the price of the bombs, the cost of the planes or drones and fuel to get them to that poverty-stricken country. We could have purchased the whole country and every person and piece of property in it for a lot less, but then there wouldn’t have been any war profits to be made.

    The nightmare is real. Most of us oppose war, but no matter how we vote or who is elected, the results of our elections are always more war because that’s the basis of our so-called economy. Without government, we couldn’t have wars because there wouldn’t be a bureaucracy capable of stealing our money and diverting it to wars. But how can we ever have peace when so many people believe that government is necessary because without it there would be chaos? Peace isn’t chaos, war is chaos. War is the screams, the agony, the blood, the deaths, the true horror that Hollywood only simulates. Without a government to shoot us if we strike or protest, we could keep the fruits of our labor.

    Recently a FOIA request revealed that the Wall Street had conspired directly with the FBI and DHS to destroy Occupy. Wall Street didn’t need to ask the President or Congress for approval–it owns them. It spends billions financing their elections to make fools believe that they have a voice in government, but our government, which is owned by the corporations, never acts on behalf of the people and always represents the corporations that own it.

    The business of our government is war. It kills people. If somebody is elected who opposes that agenda, it takes them out. It assassinated JFK as easily as it assassinated Allende, Lumumba, and Gaddafi. With trillions of dollars at stake, it can’t afford to allow the mob and rabble of democracy to interfere. The Federalist Constitution was written to ensure that the rich would always rule, and their business has always been war, genocide, slavery, and wage slavery.

    It is time to stop trying to reform our government and to stop supporting it. It does nothing except steal from us and kill. We do all the work and as worker/owners discover when they take over a factory, we can do it better without management and government making our lives hell.


  3. Thanks for sharing your experience in such a transparent way. You have spoken truth and in a way to confirm what my wife and I have been discussing as truth and reality. Keep standing with truth no matter the cost to you. The reward for perservering is much greater than that of selling short. I’m sure you already know that, but I have learned that it is good to remind others though they may know for encouragement. Peace to you!


  4. Chris

     /  January 6, 2013

    I can relate to that. I’ve worked as a stagehand for 9 years. Because of my contempt for the garbage consumed by mass audiences, I rarely watched a show that I built. After countless shows of award winning bands spewing poisonous lyrics and Broadway and Disney mind programming theatrical productions, I worked on a movie set as a grip in the Utah desert.
    Only myself and a few of the local riggers took the time to pause and absorb the fact that we were on the Colorado River framed by two and three hundred foot walls of slickrock and sandstone amidst rock carvings and paintings at least a thousand years old.
    The Hollywood guys out of L.A. looked like they smelled a fart when, over beers at a desert saloon, I mentioned jews and the whole poisonous control they had over films and entertainment. You’d think these guys would be in the know after working so many years in the industry, but all they wanted to do was tell boring stories about film shoots and talk about movie stars and who was the biggest jerk or the coolest, and how much money they made,etc. They had all been desensitized to the garbage pile they were helping create.
    We’re moving to a new city soon, where I hope to get involved with documentary films and working around animals, and I don’t draw a paycheck for building the temples for the masses of morons to pray at for a few hours.


  5. Simon

     /  January 6, 2013

    Clint thank you We all need to be honest with the decisions we make on a daily basis. As we age we should be come more aware of our surroundings and the effects we have on those around us. Attitude and actions define who we are. It is rare when one gives up a career because of their beliefs. Bravo.

    We all have the option of changing, from what we read, what we watch .
    unfortunately we have to many mindless soul.
    “Lambs to slaughter” comes to mind



     /  January 6, 2013




  7. Simon

     /  January 6, 2013

    Clint what restrictions do you have on reposting your blog say facebook
    besides giving full credit and a link to your blog


    • Thanks for asking. Prison Planet/Infowars doesn’t ask, and they don’t give credit. But I’m somehow ok with being a muse.

      All my writing and movies are public domain, with no restrictions. No permission ever needed. No profit ever made. In fact I beg you to repost them, for without people like you, I have no publication.




  8. I wish I had something more inspiring to say than perhaps what’s already been said but I simply have nothing to say other than “How horrible”. I know we can change this. We have to. We cannot let this go on. In my view, it is complacency that allows this kind of thing to continue. We cannot allow this. Good for you leaving Hollywood. It’s a place of lies and deception. Congratulations on such excellent writing.


  9. Reblogged this on Ronmamita's Blog and commented:
    Cognitive Dissonance is effecting most of the people on Earth.
    Thank you for sharing your experiences and thank you for being here!
    LOVE & Peace


  10. a reader from removing the shackle blog mentioned your blog. there are lots of info and discussions there. thought you may be interested in. also google One People’s Public Trust. it is the hot topic on the internet now. you did a great research on strawman. the trustees of the people trust just destroyed the strawman on the legal ground


    • maybe you want to join american kabuki and D . breaking the silence. Heather one of the trustees is preparing a press release. more people are waking up also google hope girl. there is a petition on soldierhug website to ban the Bar. namaste


  11. five words

     /  January 10, 2013

    It is not words that will be the catalyst for your transformation. It is not logical or strategical thinking that will bring you to clarity. You need nothing beyond what you already have. It is just that what you already have is blocked by what you have defined. Reboot your mind… http://travisthetraveler.wordpress.com/

    Happy Trails, . . .


  12. afteramerica

     /  January 13, 2013

    Reblogged this on AfterAmerica's Blog and commented:
    This is the reason our family stopped going to the movie Theater. This could also be the reason why you could stop flying. If you don’t put the money in to the pockets of American Airlines and United Airlines maybe they will kindly consider our request to take out the TSA out of the airport. Make? It won’t happen until enough people take action.


  13. gayst

     /  January 31, 2013

    Your post broke my heart and gave me hope. I quit the film biz about six years ago. I was in the Art Department (even the various “Departments” are capitalized and have “egos”. ha…) and after 15 years I could no longer stomach the pomposity, lies, manipulation, thievery and exploitation I witnessed and participated in every day.

    Everyone said and, keeps saying, I am insane to have walked away from the money and fame. I still haven’t managed to figure out how to make a living now that I have left it behind…but I have hope.

    And I agree, the Jewish people who run the business are out of control. I remember riding in a van on a location scout one day and suddenly everyone (except for me) began shouting, “Isn’t it great? We’re all Jews!” And they were all laughing so strangely when it struck me that it was as if I wasn’t there or didn’t exist, as I’m not Jewish and they all knew that. I could see I didn’t “count”. For the first time I truly understood what racism feels like – like you’re non-existent, non-human. Because that’s who the “we” were in their proclamation – the “we” were the humans, who were all Jewish. But not me, I was something else to them – at best a special “pet”. I thought I was going to throw up.

    I saw many other, much less subtle and more blatant brutalities, but, as you put so beautifully, I was an Artist (with a capital “A”, of course!). though it was in that van that something hit home and deeply. I knew it was only a matter of time before I had to leave my career behind.

    The corruption is there from the first thought and what appears on the screen for the audience is so very dressed up and polished in comparison, but also seductive and delicious to the senses. A veritable shit feast.

    I’m really worried about the young people. They are lapping this shit up as if it’s the best thing in the world and it’s killing them, literally. Who needs make-believe zombies when real ones are growing up everyday to kill innocent people around the world from “adult” (ha!) play stations?

    Who was it that said you could always identify a civilization that was on it’s deathbed when the adults began co-opting the children’s toys? I think it was some Roman or another…

    Also, that quote is also my favorite. It’s taped to my bathroom mirror, but I never knew it was attributed to Goethe. I’ve only seen it credited to J. Krishnamurti? Learn something new every single day. Thank God. And thank God for you, too, Mr. Reality Blogger.

    Now, if I can just figure out how to make a living without selling my soul…


  14. John

     /  June 25, 2013

    @ gayst: >>Everyone said and, keeps saying, I am insane to have walked away from the money and fame.

    I don’t “get it” when people say this. I guess the people who you talked to are, to no great offense, are shallow people. Maybe they too are entranced by the gloss that is movie making that gets a distribution deal and red carpet treatment.


    • Then I guess you don’t understand American culture, but good for you. Money and fame are highly valued as is self-evident in this society. Just look at the way we live. And, yes, most of the people who said this are shallow, though completely unaware of this fact, but that describes most people. I left anyway.


  15. John

     /  August 12, 2013

    @ gayst: I do “get it” but what I meant was more of a “why would anyone with their priorities straight” would ever say such a thing.


  16. Jared Bond

     /  September 10, 2013

    Nice to know some of your background, Clint. I too find it hard to work anywhere, because almost every job requires some element of deception in it. Well, and I’m just so depressed about society and people in general, it’s like I don’t want to support it in any way. I’d gladly work for a society I could be proud of.


  17. Thank you for sharing.
    I recently moved away from friends, family, and everything I’ve known to be here in Hollywood.
    The more I see here and closer I pay attention, the more I get the feeling that this is just a vain attempt at something that does no tangible good.
    It’s a system that you must buy before you can be accepted into it.
    I’ve been struggling with what to do with these feelings and this article was very insightful.
    Again, thank you.


  18. Reblogged this on All Day and Night.


  19. I started with your Mind Parasites post… and really was so taken with its profound logic… I have been reading some of your other stuff. And this post connected some dots I almost wish had stayed disconnected…

    I think the truth is more and more people are finding it harder and harder to survive in this culture. I think many of us have checked out though we still offer some version of participation. And there are many degrees of checking out… aren’t there?

    So I think there are some outposts of sanity but the greater part of our lives are spent trying to live in the midst of lunacy. Which makes me think of Jospeh Heller and Catch-22… I had to search out this quote… I keep remembering it…

    “The night was filled with horrors, and he thought he knew how Christ must have felt as he walked through the world, like a psychiatrist through a ward full of nuts, like a victim through a prison full of thieves. What a welcome sight a leper must have been!

    And I have searched hard for that quote from Goethe… everyone attributes it to Krishnamurti but no-one gives the origin. The closest I came was this:

    “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society” – J. Krishnamurti

    I cannot find an original source for this quote, but there are plenty of places on the Internet that attribute it to him[5].

    From this site: http://conspiracies.skepticproject.com/articles/zeitgeist-addendum/part-one/


  20. Phil Solesky

     /  October 26, 2016

    Could this article be any more amateurish or fake? It’s about time to exclude it from the site. In light of information that wasn’t as well known in 2013 I can see where it might have been somewhat believable in 2013, but now it’s nothing less than ridiculous. BTW, it’s conscience not conscious. I’d chalk it up to a typo, but it was repeated at least twice.


    • As usual, a troll says a whole lot of nothing and somehow make it sound reasonable. I am an amateur as far as I know. I nor anyone reading this has any idea what it is you consider fake, but I assure you that having lived this experience it is not fake. The video at the end proves it by showing exactly the soldier I was talking about.

      What exactly 2013 has to do with anything is beyond me as well, as is what happened then that somehow makes this personal blog less than ridiculous.

      What a lame-ass comment. Total fail.



  21. Some nickname

     /  March 18, 2018

    This was one of the most disappointing posts I’ve ever read. What’s the point? Where’s the great revelation?

    That some sounds were taken from animals is pretty well known (http://usoproject.blogspot.com/2011/02/ben-burtt-about-genesis-of-tie-fighter.html). But:

    I really doubt the majority of the sounds is made that way today.

    I just can’t imagine that every single creature sound on Skyrim is taken literally from tortured animals. The effort would be gargantuan. They probably use a stock set of sounds recorded years ago and put them through the sound programs.

    But, again: Where is your “OMG”-point? You were pretty sparse on any details. Were you forced to attend Eyes Wide Shut-like parties, with dead prostitutes turning up later? Are people getting sacrificed when launching high profile video games?

    Just what made you quit? The drone pilot? Really?

    Look: People cut each other’s heads off with swords centuries before Pong was invented.

    WITH SWORDS! Imagine that! Unlike a drone, or a pistol, you pretty much cannot escape blood using such a thing, and there were people who willingly used them to murder each other! They used their bare hands to cut venes and muscles of fellow humans in half.

    What was their excuse?

    Is that news to you? I can’t believe that a young man in the army telling he played video games made your head explode. That is ridiculous. Almost everyone under 40 in a western country has experiences played video games. Almost everyone should be a psychopath then.

    Also: Resident Evil 5 = Hollywood?

    It’s designed and programmed in Japan:


    Only the sound and music was made outside Japan.


    • Written with the clear perspective of he who is looking inside from outside. You’re opinion is more programed into you than any game code. Too many logical fallacies to list.

      Here’s an interview on the subject, with plenty of graphic visuals to make the point – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1L_yxK_-Jg

      If that doesn’t make it clear the agenda behind this stuff, I don’t know what will.

      But by all means, play till your soul shrivels.



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